Sorry
by the universe is ours
Summary: Why be given a power to know things, but to never be able to stop them?


The moment I opened my eyes to the new day, I knew something was going to happen, that something was soon going to be different. It's a skill I had always had, I was able to know when an event would occur, but the painful part was that I never actually knew what it was until it was too late.

Flickers of light danced across my vision, blinding me for a second before fluttering on and twirling across the sandy floor beneath my paws. I heard the breeze sigh outside and the playful squawks of birds as they floated on wings as if it was as easy as walking. The noise of the kits next to me caught my attention as they bounced around, dancing in time to the sunlight, or maybe the sunlight in time with them. Their eyes sparkled like the stars of Silverpelt as they rolled around, fluffy pelts roughed up and tiny pink mouths open in a playful joust. My attention moved on, disinterested in the two kits, and roamed around the clan. The senior warriors were relaxed against a wall, sunning their pelts and sharing the day's news – it was nothing special, only just about the best hunting grounds. The leader, Wingstar, was seated below her den and was sharing tongues with her once-mate and now best friend, Swiftstrike. I rotated my small ears, searching for anything that could possibly be out of the ordinary, different or even just have been moved around. But, strangely enough, everything was perfect. I sighed and rose to my paws, still uneasy about the feeling in the pit of my stomach – it felt… different.

My dark grey paws skidded out from under me and I fell flat on my belly, uttering a huff of air as it all raced out from my squashed lungs. A burst of giggles caused me to look over to my right and I frowned when Wolfkit and Goldkit danced out from behind their mother, amused grins etched on their faces. Wolfkit puffed out his light grey chest in mock pride, trying to imitate me. His grey tabby pelt flinching as Goldkit shook her golden coat, ridding her fur of the dust her play-fight had gathered.

"What?" I demanded groggily as I scrabbled to my paws, grimacing as I nearly lost my balance and went down onto my nose. It caused another outburst from the two kits next to me and I felt my fur beginning to bristle when I regained my stance.

"Wavekit." A low, warning growl right next to me sent a shudder to my body and instinctively, my tail shot between my legs.

"Sorry Mumma'" I whispered, eyes downcast at the sandy floor and dark grey tail flicking around in circles unconsciously.

"'Should be." I could hear the smirk in Wolfkit's voice as he stared at me, amber eyes glowing with a strange emotion. I risked a silent snarl at him before turning and looking my mother in her strange, two coloured eyes.

The blue and green eyes stared back at me. A white tail curled around me and pulled me close to her warm body and I felt my own body shudder with barely contained happiness.

"Don't worry, my dear." She paused, seemingly uncertain and I opened my mouth to voice my question, but she cut me off. "You're up early, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes." My voice was small, weak and I felt as if it had taken the effort of a thousand warriors to say that one word. The feeling in my stomach was getting stronger. It was as if someone was pushing my gut down with all their weight and cutting off my throat at the same times.

_Please let it stop_ I begged silently, squeezing my eyes shut and draping my mother's tail over my eyes.

_Please_.

"Wave, Wolf wants to play with you." Mother's soft, calming voice radiated around me and I could only just contain a high of contentment.

"But, I don't want to." Speaking took effort, playing would take much more. Why did Wolf always have to play?

"Now Wave, I know that he's rough but you're the older one, try to make him happy so Fernstep can get a good night's rest." Mother's reasoning tone had little effect and I just rolled over, puffing out my fur and snuggling deeper into her warm pelt.

"For me?" My eyes snapped open at the pleading and sorrowful tone, worried that I had done something to upset her. I leaped to my paws and looked up into her mismatched eyes, but they gave nothing away about the sudden change of tone. Without any warning, her paw had scooped me up and ushered me out of the small branch covering before I could even finish the question I had started

"What-"

"Good kit, go on and play with your friends." She cut me off, all the strange grief gone from her voice and the light playful tone back where it belonged. I flicked my tail in annoyance but complied with her wishes and staggered outside into the full sunlight.

A small weight hit me in the chest and I winced as the strange feeling in my stomach tightened and made me crouch over, moaning in pain.

"Did I hurt you?" Goldkit's tone was careful and I glanced up into her amber eyes, wary of her gentle persona.

"No, I – I have a stomach cramp, nothing to worry about." A white lie, a big fat lie. The pain was overwhelming and I felt as if I was about to pop from all the pressure. Goldkit's expression lost the gentle edge and was replace with a small amount of pity.

"Want me to get some herbs from…from _her_?" I choked out a laugh at the fear in her voice.

"Don't be scared of Greenfeather, she's really nice when you don't mess up the store room." I could see the deep blush under Goldkit's leaf-fall coloured fur and I gave a bark of laughter at the impish expression. Suddenly, she puffed out her chest and stood tall, all trace of childish behaviour gone to be replaced by a look of fierce calmness.

"What –" Again, I never got to finish my question because it was then that a huge golden tom chose to come striding over and stand in between Goldkit and me. I sneezed and quickly backed away as I was thrown a look of loathing from the powerful golden cat. The tom stared down at Goldkit with disapproval and began whispering things that I couldn't be bothered listening to. Goldkit looked up at me sharply before turning her head to catch the words slipping from the mouth of the huge warrior.

I frowned, bunching my muzzle up in annoyance.

Sure, call me out to play then just ignore me, who am I but a stupid mouse to them all. I thought icily and turned to stalk back into the nursery, muttering oaths beneath my breath.

"Where you goin'?" The slight accented voice cause me to turn my head and find a small brown tabby tom-kit sitting on a rock a fox length to my right. Curiosity sparked in me and I wandered over to see what he wanted, and who he was.

"I'm Wavekit." I declared proudly, standing tall and showing off my strong stature. "Who're you?" I added, trying not to appear too stuck up. The brown kit looked down at his paws and muttered something that ended with you.

"Sorry, didn't catch that." I let my voice soften and I relaxed, touching my tail on his flanks comfortingly.

"I'm Birchkit, I know who you are, your – your…" He fell into a stutter and began shuffling his paws awkwardly, apparently embarrassed. I let out a short laugh, glancing over my shoulder at where Goldkit should be, but she had left already. I sighed and returned my gaze to Birchkit.

"I am?" I prompted, intrigued by the little tabby kit.

"You're Snowflower's kit." He finally mumbled, blurring the words so fast that I could barely understand it.

"Yes, I am." Pride sparked in my chest but the strong feeling in my stomach instantly quashed it. I doubled over in pain as the feeling intensified and my mind started screaming for air.

"Are you oka- hey, watch out!" Birchkit's gentle voice became a screech and I looked up, instantly alert and spinning around in the same moment to face whatever had spooked the young kit.

A pitch-black warrior shoved past, bowling Wolfkit, who had been standing in the entry to the nursery; completely head over paws and barged into the nursery, dark green eyes blazing. Silently, I relaxed my muscles and lifted a paw to take a step towards the nursery, but a brush of fur on fur brought my gaze back to rest on Birchkit who was cowering behind my paw.

"H-h-h-he w-was the o-one…" the small tabby kit stuttered, eyes wide with distress and fear. I hushed him, promising in a calm voice that everything would be okay, and once he was quiet again, I stepped into the nusery.

Hushed voices reached my senses and I angled my ears towards the source. I could hear the warm voice of my mother and the harsh, husky voice of someone I had never heard before.

"Please, please, I am so sorr-" Mother sounded like she was about to break down, her voice sounded watery and confused

"Don't you dare apologise, I loved yo-" The harsh voice cut across her, his voice seething with rage and undisguised hate.

"I loved you too." Snowflower whimpered, a sound that made my heart twist in agony and my stomach drop to the ground as if the strange foreboding feeling was back.

"No you didn't, you only had eyes for him." The dark voice had an edge of another emotion – not hate, nor regret, but something else, something I couldn't put my paw quite on. "Come on, we'll continue this outside."

I barely had time to react before the black I had seen before came storming out from behind the slight overhang in the back of the nursery, his green eyes burning with hate. Luckily, I had stopped with a paw raised in mid-step and the black cat took it as if I was just coming inside and nodded me off with a flick of his head. At that signal, my heart felt lighter – until my mother came out from the shadows.

Her normally beautiful white fur was ruffled and her miss-matched eyes were cold and lifeless, as if her energy had been drained. Somehow, I summoned up the courage to speak her name.

"Snowflower." That one word was the escape route for all my confused emotions and they tumbled over each other in their haste to get out. Mother looked up at me and for a second, I thought I saw the usual spark of life in the before she quickly slipped back and mouthed a word to me. I blinked, confused, as I tried to place the word. A black shape slithered to stand in between us and I looked up into the furious green eyes of the tom. He stared back, and I felt my stomach begin to tighten and I realised something.

He's the something wrong today.

Pain, fury and regret radiated off him like he shouted it to the world and his shoulders slumped in what looked like agony. Green fire crackled in his eyes and he looked as if he hadn't slept or cleaned himself in a moon. Black fur stuck up all over his pelt at odd angles and on ear was leaking blood from an old wound.

"Go away." He spat, propelling saliva into my face and baring his teeth. I slowly backed away, heart thumping and stomach aching. Something warm bumped against my flank and I curled my tail around Birchkit who had started following me into the nursery.

That's when I noticed that the camp was silent.

The senior warriors who had been sunning themselves where frozen in place, watching the scene unfold in front of them. Swiftstrike had leaped to his paws, rage creating a mask on his face and paws stretched out as if he was about to run towards us. Wingstar was on the top of her ledge, watching everything with a calm gaze and mouth half-open in wonder. I returned my attention to the black tom and braced myself for what ever he was going to do.

"Come on, Blackstripe, lets go hunting." My mother's voice seemed out of place, but I instantly relaxed as she came into view around the so-called Blackstripe. The black tom nodded, albeit grudgingly and trudged off after my mother, who was already half out of the camp. I looked down at my paws, but not before seeing the pleading look in Snowflower's eyes.

I didn't need spoken words; the message was plain in sight.

_Help me._

**~.~**

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, trying to block out the world, but it was all in vain for the moment darkness cross my mind, Snowflower's green and blue eyes would spin into sight. I silently begged for her to be all right, but I knew that just sitting here would be no good. I wrenched my eyes open and rose to my paws in a swift motion, taking careful note not to touch Birchkit who had only just fallen asleep, and swiftly trotted out of the nursery. I looked around me, cautious that if I were seen heading out of camp, I would be stopped and dragged back.

The senior warriors had retired for the day as the sun was only a blur on the horizon and only Swiftstrike was out, laying under the ledge where he usually sat, toying with a mouse's tail playfully. I suppressed a snort of laughter at the sight but made haste as I came closer to the exit.

As soon as reached the forest and the scents hit my nose, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I felt free.

I clawed the damp dirt beneath my paws and sighed in happiness, but all the while, paying attention to my surrounding and the sounds going around me. Somewhere above my head, a sparrow swooped, looking for prey and to my right, a vole was scrabbling around for its dinner. I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate and then, I heard them.

"Get away from me!"

Snowflower's voice reached my ears and my limbs started moving of their own accord. My heart pumped in my chest and I flattened my ears against my head as the weight in my stomach became almost unbearable again. I slowed only when they were a fox length in front of me and only then, I began to listen to them.

"You will regret ever mating with him, you lying-"

Screams of pure pain reached my ears and I screamed along with it as the feeling doubled and felt as if it was tearing me apart.

More screaming. I felt as if a tree had crushed me and every bone in my body was shattered.

Slowly, the pain faded, but the screams continued. I let out a snarl and dug my claws into the ground, throwing myself forward and towards where the two cats where.

What I saw, I would never forget.

Blackstripe stood over Snowflower, white claws glistening with dark red blood and jaws stretched in a snarl. My mother's coat was stained red with blood, hers or Blackstripe's, I didn't know – but what I did know was that the fury that engulfed me was worse than the feeling in my chest.

Rage boiled up inside me and I threw myself, unthinking at the black tom. I hit him squarely in the chest and my weight was just enough to throw him backwards, but I held on, digging my claws into his neck and snarls streaming from my throat. Pure force hit my back and pain spiked across my body, making me let go and fall from Blackstripe's body.

Suddenly, the anger and hatred was gone, to be replaced by pain and grief. Green eyes stared into mine and I felt emotions just wash away.

This is the end. I whispered to myself, calm and patient. I didn't move, I didn't even make a sound as Blackstripe raised his claws for a killing blow.

I didn't even make the connections when the weight pinning me down vanished, a black and white shadow streamed in from the corner of my eye and a yowl faded in my ears. It wasn't until the screams of Blackstripe reached my ears that I realised that I wasn't dead.

Shocked, I raised my head to find Swiftstrike pinning the black tom to the ground, claws out and resting them against Blackstripe's throat. I gasped and struggled to my paws, still half frozen in surprise.

"Why?" Spat Swiftstrike, calling my attention, but he was talking to the black warrior. "What could drive you to do such a thing?"

"Sunmist." Choked Blackstripe. Swiftstrike paused, confused and in those last moments of his life, Blackstripe swung his paw out of the black and white warrior's loosened grip in hooked his claws into Swiftstrike's throat and pulled down.

I slammed my eyes shut, blocking the scene from my head and trying to block out the shrieks of pain.

Everything was too quiet. I opened my eyes, and at my paws lay the cold bodies of two warriors, both with bloodied throats.

Swiftstrike was always ready for anything. I whispered, feeling cold and alone.

Snowflower! My mind snapped back to her memory and I bolted over to where she lay. She was as still as the other two and blood seeped from multiple wounds all over her body.

"Mother?" I whimpered, nosing her wet flanks. Blue and green eyes fluttered open and stared into mine. She tried to speak, but all that came out was a long moan.

"Don't try to speak, it will be alright, I promise." But I knew, even with my lack of knowledge, that it wouldn't be all right.

"He had golden eyes too." She whispered, her voice raw and grief-stricken.

"Did he?" I faltered, lost as to what she was talking about.

"Yes." She sighed and closed her eyes. The next word she said was too quiet to even hear, but I had seen her say it once before, without words.

"_Sorry_."

Her head lolled to the side and her paws gave one final twitch as her heart ceased beating.

"No." I said.

"No." My heart felt as heavy as a twoleg monster

"_NO_" Blood pumped in my veins and fury boiled in my flesh. Pain like no other spread through my entire being as I felt my claws slick with blood and the stench clogging my nose and coating my tongue.

_Why be given the power to know something happens, but you can't do anything to stop it._

"Why." I whimpered, burying my head in Snowflower's pelt.

"Why _**me**_."

**~.~**

**Sorry it's kind of depressing, but you know – it was a kind of depressing song… to me, anyway.**

**Well, sign up for the competition, it was a whole heap of fun ~! :D**

**Tell me what you think in the review, did you like it? :D**

_**Medium Level on LawlClan Monthly Challenge.**_

_**Song – Snuff by Slipknot.**_


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